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Arrangements had been concluded for the petition (signed by all the retired partners of KPMG who are still awaiting their gratuity and pension) to be tabled before the United Nations General Assembly which was held in New York, United States of America from 18 September to 5 October 2018, when the highly respected Secretary-General of the U.N., Mr. António Guterres pressed the pause button. He was responding to the tremendous pressure from various Heads of State (particularly Kim Jong-Un from North Korea; Robert Mugabe who insists he is still the ruler of Zimbabwe for life and General Idi Amin who declared on CNN that not only is he still very much alive, but had recently acquired two new wives – one Christian and the other Moslem, although he cannot remember their names!). The pressure group managed to swing matters in favour of deferring discussion of allegations of “pensioncide” (deprivation of pension) to the World Bank/IMF meeting which was scheduled to hold in Bali,Indonesia from October 12 to October 14 2018.
In the intervening period, we solicited the support of the 100 most powerful men and women in the world. The response was overwhelming. All of them, without exception, pledged their full support – this is definitely a matter for the United Nations. Peace is not the absence of war but the full payment of gratuity and pension.
However, the most intriguing response was that of Prince Charles who sent a cryptic message:
“As I Get Older All I Want To Do Is Plant Trees” (No Gratuity; No Pension)
Prince Charles says that planting trees is all he longs to do as he gets older and has created an entire wood for his grandson.
He discusses his passion for arboriculture for a new BBC documentary, in which he is filmed touring the wood planted for Prince George at his home in Birkhall, Aberdeenshire.
The Prince of Wales, 69, planted dozens of trees of different varieties in a paddock adjoining the house’s garden to mark George’s birth in July 2013. “As I get older all I really long for is to plant trees”, the prince tells John Bridcut, the filmmaker. “I hope it will be quite amusing for George, as they grow up, and he grows up.”
The prince is a keen gardener and has previously spoken of how he had help from George to plant trees at his Highgrove estate in Gloucestershire.
“Prince, Son and Heir: Charles at 70, which airs on Thursday 8thNovember on BBC One ahead of his birthday on November 14, obtained exclusive access to the prince, the Duchess of Cornwall and his sons over a period of a year. The BBC described it as a “revealing and intimate portrait” of the longest-serving-heir to the throne, who still feels he has a lot more to do.
The prince was filmed inspecting his Birkhall arboretum during the dry summer and worrying about the lack of water. “He does rain dances most of the day, to try and get some more,” the duchess jokes.
During the documentary the prince defends his reputation for meddling after high-profile public interventions on subjects as diverse as climate change, architecture, red squirrels and Islam. “If it’s meddling to worry about the inner cities as I did 40 years ago and what was happening or not happening there, the conditions in which people were living – if that’s meddling I’m very proud about it,” he says.
The Duke of Sussex also pays tribute to his father’s campaigning. “The man never stops,” he says/ “Whether its dinner or tea or whatever and we sit there and speak to him, he gets so frustrated.
You can understand why, when he cares that much and he’s been banging the drum for this long.”
Equally fascinating was the response from Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury who chose to deliver his verdict not from the pulpit but as “BREAKING NEWS” on CNN when he declared:
“The Almighty is not male or female”.
As confirmation that he was deadly serious, the Holy Father sent us the following report by Caroline Wheeler.
Headline: “Let Elderly Make Love, Not Cocoa, Care Homes Told”
(Residents must be able to spice up their sex lives, new guidelines say).
“Help the aged has taken on a whole new meaning, with the country’s biggest nursing union issuing guidelines to care home staff on how to enable residents to enjoy an active sex life.
While the passing of time makes it difficult for some OAPs to raise anything more than a smile, the Royal College of Nursing (RCN) has told its members how to provide the right environment for residents to get amorous.
This includes ensuring there is a private area, with double beds available, and allowing residents access to pornography, Viagra and even sex toys — and “do not disturb” signs.
The RCN’s document, Older People in Care Homes: Sex, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships, warns staff that advancing age “in no way prevents older individuals and couples enjoying sexual activity, sexual intimacy or coitus”.
The document suggests that, far from shuffling gloomily towards encroaching infirmity, many care home residents are still driven by vigorous sexual urges, and may be having better sex than the rest of us. “With less time pressure than in the earlier times of their lives, some older people report that sexual activity can be more leisurely, lasting over an entire afternoon or an entire day, the RCN adds.
Older people often speak of the wish to maintain their usual sexual practices which might include cross-dressing, sadomasochism etc. Many older people report that they enjoy trying new positions and incorporating sex toys into their sex life.”
A study by the University of Manchester of more than 7,000 people aged 5O and over found that at least a quarter of men and one in 10 women over 85 were sexually active. Given that women tend to heavily outnumber men at that age, some nursing homes have reported fierce competition for sexually active males.
Care home providers have long been nervous about the ethical, moral and legal implications of catering to sexual needs, especially where residents with dementia are concerned, or where mutual consent might be a problem.
Some residents have asked for prostitutes to be brought to their rooms, potentially exposing managers to prosecution if they permit the use of sex workers on their premises.
“Care providers should always take their own legal advice on any action they propose to take in relation to a resident as it may have implications under human rights law or other legislation,” the document warns.
Abuse remains a major concern, with care homes liable to prosecution if they fail to protect vulnerable patients. In Australia last week a 102-year old man pleaded guilty to a charge of aggravated indecent assault on a 92-year-old woman at their old people’s home in Sydney. The man was unconditionally discharged on mental health grounds.
Bashorun J.K. Randle
