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As 2021 gets underway with all its newness and hope, we seem to have crossed over with great aplomb with some of our drawbacks. It will seem to me like we worked hard at polishing our sins and have made them better and bigger.
Take our begging energy for example. It is now either go home or go big.
Here we are as cross as we can be with begging security men, funny looking touts, some hospital staff, some teachers in schools, some supermarket staff, some airport staff etcetera all begging every and any one for crumbs, lunch and anything for the boys move and we thought we had seen it all.
I mean cleaners in your office who have not greeted you for a whole year suddenly making a move at Christmas. Like what? Clearly many Nigerians think everyone else other than them is a fool. Like they may even think everyone is a thief helping themselves to the national till and begging, cheating and positioning is what they need to collect money from you.
It is okay if you strip so they can live. It is ridiculous. There is no more dignity in labour and junior staff and support staffs from security to cleaners to clerks are so self entitled that they believe you owe them.
But 2021 is different. Now they literally would want to carry you to whichever office you are going so they get paid. I find it unerving these days that security men at the reception at a reputable government establishment would want to take you into the lift and escort you where you are going. And this is not because the lift needs any kind of expertise to operate it.
Something is clearly wrong with a country where everyone is begging total strangers and now they have gone a step further by trying to carry you
This is because Mr Security wants to give you extra greeting peppered with the Dorset comment in the whole wide world, hope you slept well.
The children? How is Oga? Your work is good? And Happy New year like for the umpteenth time.
Like Jamaicans would say, “I like mon peace and quiet” but this guy won’t let me be. He steps in front of me almost tripping me as we arrive the floor I am going and hands me to his sickening colleagues all saluting like idiots. Who hired these people I wonder? Even if they were outsourced did the admin department not brief them? Alas to my utter dismay Mr Security remains by the lift to carry me back downstairs, I am stupefied. He heads back into the lift, attempts to collect my bag, which I deny and then merrily sees me downstairs with the final flurry of Merry Christmas.
Something is clearly wrong with a country where everyone is begging total strangers and now they have gone a step further by trying to carry you. Add this to the new greeting style by total strangers. As I drive past a familiar street, a sing along voice trails after me; Happy Christmas ma. I turn, maybe it is someone I know. Nope. Never seen her before. And I am in a moving car. Like what?
Then of course there are the confidence tricksters at supermarkets and offices. Security and clerks who wear a toothpaste smile telling you long time. Aah madam we have not seen you in a long time. Not true! They do not even know you and you don’t know them.
However, this general begging which has now reached its disgraceful height has been with us at airports for a long time. People wearing uniforms begging like there is no tomorrow. The ones on the road shaming us collectively. Now they are ready to treat you like a colonial master, carry you on their shoulders, ferry you upstairs where there is no lift, carry your bag, clean your shoes, make unnecessary small talk and drive you insane.
We are in 2021. How did we get here? How did we sell our souls? Who will rescue us? Nigerian values have been deteriorating a long time. But now it has gone to an all time low?
How was my night? Triple Christmas greetings for a mess of pottage? So sad!
It was when I met a Nollywood actor distributing his wedding card to all and sundry at an upscale Abuja hotel many years ago that I knew we were done. I thought wedding cards were for friends and family.
My shock knew no bounds. People were recognising him and excitedly colleced his wedding card. I was sick to my stomach. Fraud, lack of integrity, shamelessness and everything in between. He was gleefully sharing and I was beside myself. Begging in any form is a travesty and it often strips the beggar of any iota of dignity.
Please let these sick Nigerians know I do not wish to be carried and I owe them nothing. And those hiring security men and women; please train them. Audit them from time to time.
They can turn your customer away and ruin your business.
Enough said.
