For many people, money is a key ingredient in ensuring an independent and happy life. Money or a lack thereof has in many ways shaped history as we know it. Its impact dates as far back as the biblical times where Solomon (perhaps the wisest man that ever lived) intimated these famous words “a feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry; but money answereth all things” Ecclesciastes 10:19 (KJV).
Even Solomon understood the importance of money and how it can literally ‘answer’ your problems.
Mahatma Gandhi, one of the greatest peace heroes of the 20th century stated that “poverty is the worst form of violence”. Even Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich (an early 20th century personal finance book that is still relevant after many decades) states that “Nothing brings a man so much suffering and humility as poverty!”
The fear of not having -or dare I say it- of being poor has driven many people to work as hard and do things they may ordinarily not do just to ensure it never happens. This is particularly true for those who at one point in their lives experienced devastating poverty and hard times.
While we are in agreement that money is important and an essential ingredient to a full life, at the heart of it all, is the need for each person to have a healthy relationship with the concept of money. We often hear phrases like, being a slave to money, chained to the job etc, these are examples of an unhealthy relationship with money.
Money is merely a tool to achieve many things. It is not an assurance of happiness or of a stress free life but it can help to alleviate certain areas of life.
According to Dave Ramsey, “money is not just about math its about behaviour”, he believes that it is a person’s behaviour that can get them into the biggest financial mistakes but can also lead to the biggest successes.
These statements reinforce the need to understand our relationship with money and our attitude to towards money or a lack thereof. I have a few questions I believe you need to answer to help you truly understand your relationship with money.
The Tough Questions:
1. Is money the sole determining factor when you are making career, financial and life decisions?
2 If not the sole factor, is it the most important factor in making financial and life decisions?
3. Are you afraid of never having enough money, the ‘fear of poverty’?
4. Is the quest to have money stemming from peer/societal pressure and a need to impress?
5. What money secrets are you keeping from your family and friends?
The import of these questions were particularly glaring during the last recession/financial crisis, it showed that there were so many people with unhealthy relationships with money. For many, having little or no money means a loss in self- esteem, social status, freedom etc.
You may wonder what one would consider to be a healthy relationship with money. If you have answered the above questions in the affirmative then we can agree that you have an unhealthy relationship with money.
It clearly indicates that money or lack thereof dictates the very tone and quality of your life.
Building a Healthy Relationship with Money.
Here are a few tips on fostering a healthy relationship with money:
i. Strive to make your money work for you rather than you working for money. Basically, this just reinforces the above statement that money is a tool (one of many). Like any other tool, it is to be used to achieve something.
ii. Consider your values and tenets in life. Do you believe in honesty and integrity? If so, then you should learn to say no to things that are against your tenets even if it means also saying no to money and money earned through such means.
iii. In addition to your values are your goals and plans. This highlights all that you want and need to achieve. Make these front and centre and a constant part of your daily grind.
iv. Build character. You must have heard references to diligence, discipline and self-control. These are important when toeing the line of money management. The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines diligent as ‘characterized by steady, earnest and energetic effort.’ This presupposes that you have to play an active role in income generation. You, therefore have to, work hard and work smart and not leave things to chance.
Final Thoughts
While I have only touched on a few of the considerations and the psychology of people’s relationship with money, it is a good foundation and a great place to start on your money management.
How has your journey been so far? Please share.
Chioma Oparadike
