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Intimacy connotes a strong and deep connection. These days when we hear this word, we often think about a physical bond with one another. However, it goes beyond just a physical sentiment because the underlying factor is a psychological sentiment that taps into the very root of our emotions. Hence, it is difficult to describe intimacy as simply a physical feeling.
Taking a look at relationships, we would observe that people attest to intimacy being a key factor in maintaining a bond with their partner. Some even break off their relationships for the reason of “not feeling close” to the other person; and if you ask them what exactly they mean, they may not be able to describe it accurately. This is because it is an intangible sensation.
To get a better understanding of this, we could look from the perspective of the relationship between a parent and a child or amongst members of a family or even people in any loving situation: the dynamics of intimacy may be observed through the closeness of the relationships expressed through the depth of communication and dynamics of interactions between the people involved. Some call this chemistry.
It is important to emphasise that it takes an understanding of our own emotions to connect with those of other human beings on an intimate level. However, in order to understand or even “feel” this feeling, the question lies in whether or not we have enough self-awareness or can even accept the way we feel as what we should. Otherwise, we may find ourselves in denial.
It is equally important to have a good understanding of the other parties involved in the relationship in order to build a bond. In reality though, it is very unlikely to fully understand a person, and it takes spending a lot time with that person to get a full grasp of who they are, where their emotions lie and how to connect with them. For this reason, it is easier to observe this in families because they are more often within close physical vicinity and in more frequent communication with each other than they are with other people (in an ideal situation).
We may get carried away and assume that establishing intimacy is a default setting for most people. However, it is surprising how disconnected some of us are, even within our families and with our children. Culturally, it is not rare to find some gaps in the dynamics of a family, most especially between fathers and their children.
What people might not realise is that the behaviour of some adults today is indicative of the level of intimacy they experienced in their childhood. Observing traits such as hostility, distance, abusiveness, depression or even violent tendencies demonstrate the lack of the expression of love and affection through intimate relationships in their lives (unless the person in question has other psychological or behavioural issues). On the other hand, those who are exposed to a healthy level of intimacy in their childhood are more likely to be affectionate and are at more ease with expressing themselves.
Another perspective to take into consideration is the way we live today. Since the 1970s when Motorola introduced one of the first cellular phones, we have found many other ways to allow the interference of digitisation dictate the way we communicate and build relationships; from emails to texting to video messaging to social media (and the list goes on).
It is actually not surprising to hear that people have veered away from the traditional methods of establishing intimate connections with each other (basically, by speaking and interacting in person) and are now complacent with building relationships through the screens of their media devices. In fact, some people believe that they can replace physical interaction with digital communication.
OYIN EGBEYEMI
