Advice for family members and friends
If your family member or friend loses a loved one, kindly don’t rush to social media to break the news without their permission.
Learn to hold spaces for your loved ones, stay in silence and pray with them while they mourn.
Stop seeking validation on social media like an eyewitness reporter that you are not.
If you don’t know what to say to them in their moment of pain, use these 3 words, “I’m here”.
Never say you know how they feel because you don’t. You can only imagine what they are going through.
Friendship is much more than vibes, cruise and “By God’s grace”
Let’s embrace and normalise true friendship, togetherness, human connectedness and stop chasing clout.
Remember, Grace is medicine, kindness is medicine, recognising boundaries is medicine, relationship is medicine.
Advice to the perfect parents claiming the couple were negligent, I am begging you in God’s name, this is NOT the time to bring your ‘wokeness’ to social media. Don’t be insensitive.
Davido & Chioma lost their 3yr old son. Stay in gap and pray for them. Not telling them what they should have done differently. This is NOT the time. They are bereaved, let them grief. They need to mourn and heal.
Even adults drown in pools, no parents deserve to bury their child. It hurts differently. No matter your expertise and skills, what you say, how you say it, when you say and who you say it to matters. Never underestimate the difference you can make in the lives of others. Step forward, reach out and help with your prayers. Be kind.
What help can the person of couple get in their healing process?
While grieving a loss is an inevitable part of life, there are ways to help cope with the pain, come to terms with your grief, and eventually, find a way to pick up the pieces and move on with your life.
Read also: How to help someone who is grieving as a component of healing for personal health (Part 2)
1. Acknowledge your pain.
2. Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions.
3. Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you.
4. Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you.
5. Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically.
6. Recognise the difference between grief and depression.
7. Seek professional emotional and mental health support if and when needed.
Recommendations to the bereaved
1. Advised not to take sleeping pills if unable to sleep. See the doctor for support.
2. Advised not to indulge in drinking alcohol or abuse of any substance to feel ‘better’ rather, see your doctor
3. Individual grief counselling
4. Couple grief counselling
5. Family grief counselling
6. Psychological debriefing for everyone in the household
Here are some ways you can give support to someone who is bereaved and grieving
1. Be a good listener than a talker
2. Respect the person’s way of grieving
3. Accept mood swings
4. Avoid giving advice
5. Refrain from trying to explain the loss
6. Help out with practical tasks
7. Stay connected and available
8. Offer words that touch the heart
