Title: The Best Interest of the Child: Beyond the Court Room
Author: Ololade Idowu Adegoke
Year of Publication: 2025
Number of Pages: 149
Category: Self Help
In this part of the world, books on co-parenting are not very common, even though many people quietly live through the reality every single day. Then comes Ololade Idowu Adegoke, bold enough to say something many find hard to believe: peace is possible even when you are dealing with a crazy ex.
And let’s be honest.
Before opening the book, you may smile with a little suspicion. Peaceful co-parenting? With that ex? The one who changes plans without notice, sends emotionally charged messages at midnight, refuses to communicate clearly, or turns every minor issue into a battlefield? If you have walked this road, you already know co-parenting is not a straight path. One moment things feel manageable; the next, you are navigating ego clashes, resentment, and old wounds that refuse to heal.
In many people’s stories, the “crazy ex” is not just dramatic, they are unpredictable. They weaponize silence. They thrive on conflict. They reinterpret every conversation. And when children are involved, the emotional tension is even higher.
That is why you may raise an eyebrow at the author at first. You may wonder if her perspective is too hopeful, too idealistic, too detached from the chaos you are living through.
But here is what makes this book different.
She does not romanticize co-parenting. She acknowledges the frustration. She admits the temptation to react, to retaliate, and to “match energy.” She understands that sometimes choosing peace feels like swallowing your pride while the other person continues to provoke you. She recognizes that when you are dealing with a difficult or toxic ex, calm responses can feel like weakness.
Yet she reframes it. Choosing peace is not surrender. It is strategy.
You may not agree with everything she says and that is fine. The book does not demand blind agreement. Instead, it invites reflection. It challenges you to ask hard questions: Are your reactions helping your child? Is your anger protecting your ego more than your peace? Are you responding, or are you reacting?
As you read, you might shake your head and insist, “She doesn’t understand my crazy ex.” Because if co-parenting were that simple, you would not be searching for guidance in the first place. But that is exactly where the book gently stops you. It asks you to pause. To breathe. To reconsider your next move not because your ex deserves grace, but because your child deserves stability.
What makes her approach refreshing is that she does not stop at inspiration. She provides practical strategies. The advice is not always easy to implement, especially when emotions are raw. But it is realistic and grounded.
The book could have benefited from even more personal stories to deepen relatability. Still, the reflective questions scattered throughout encourage honest self-examination. They push you to confront your triggers, your patterns, and your motivations.
One of the most touching parts is the letter to readers. It reads like a calm voice speaking directly to a wounded heart. She acknowledges the anger. The betrayal. The exhaustion of dealing with someone who seems determined to complicate everything. And yet, she urges restraint. If you are on the verge of sending that angry message or making a decision driven by hurt, this book may be the pause you need.
Ultimately, the message is clear: co-parenting is not about winning. It is not about proving who was right in the relationship. It is about protecting the child from becoming collateral damage.
We know the saying, when two elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers. In co-parenting conflicts, children are the grass. They absorb the tension. They feel the hostility. They internalize the instability.
Ololade Idowu Adegoke reminds us that even if your ex is difficult, unreasonable, your child should not pay the price for adult battles. You may not be able to control the other parent’s behavior. But you can control yours.
And sometimes, that control is the most powerful thing you have.
This book is practical, reflective, and hopeful without being naïve. It does not promise that your crazy ex will change. It simply asks: will you?
For anyone navigating the complicated terrain of co-parenting especially with a difficult ex, this is a necessary read.
About the reviewer
Titilade Oyemade is a business executive in a leading organisation and holds a degree in Russian Language. She’s the convener of the Hangoutwithtee Ladies Event and the Publisher of Hangoutwithtee magazine. She spends her weekends attending women conferences, events and book readings. She loves to have fun and to help other women have the same in their lives. Email: titi.oyemade@gmail.com Social: @tiipreeofficial
