There is so much going on in the world that one has difficulty in deciding what to place in the weekly column these days. In the last three weeks or so, it has been one dark story or the other: the tragic passing of Chimamanda’s young son, the passing of Nanyah through snakebite and other such related issues. Then there is the world of international news, the Middle East, Ukraine, Russia, bombings, more bombings and a missing child. I just thought there was too much grimness out there and chose this week to deal with a different issue. Today I shall start a three-part series on my thoughts, advisory, gaps and inspiration in three service industries. This three-part series would only be interrupted by Lent and Ramadan, a season of introspection and reflection, next week.
So let us begin the three-part series with hospitality. The plan is to expose some of the shortfalls in this industry and how practitioners can do better.
I arrived at a truly neat hotel two weeks ago with much expectation. But my first disappointment was food. Really, if you want to start a hotel, be ready. If you are not, don’t start. There must be at least two good chefs, great waiters who don’t talk you into a knot, and two hostesses or hosts at the entrance of the restaurant. Fancy stuff, yes, but much needed.
You cannot charge as high as two hundred thousand naira for a smart room, and your restaurant is not all that. But I had some experience coming. The variety of food was pretty much uninspiring. Lunch was two choices of swallow, two choices of rice (jollof and fried) and two boring choices of soups for the swallow. The fried rice was a fake version. In other words, for their guests, if you are not happy, go take a hike. I was heartbroken, but I ate humble pie and settled into the food. I was famished.
The rooms were impeccable, but the housekeeping staff in the corridors kept me wide-eyed at 8 am when all I wanted to do was snooze a bit before my 11 am meeting. No, you did not guess. They were very much in high spirits and belted out some high-pitched gospel songs. Who told them they could do that, and why are the walls so thin?
The towels were very nice and fluffy and brilliant white, but they had no bathroom floor towel, and I had to call for one. Merde! Why have they forgotten the teaspoon for tea? Oh my!
But laundry had to take the cake. I informed the receptionist that I had left a dress on my bed for use later in the day for a late dinner. Could they please have it ironed? Once I got back to my room at 4pm, I found the dress had been ironed and other dresses in the bathroom set for washing and all my silk scarves on the side table. What happened? Was the receptionist deaf? It beggars belief that a simple instruction could not be kept. So who is paying for the other randomly ironed stuff?
But hold your breath. What’s that skank smell in the guest toilet at the reception, and why is one toilet in the ladies’ section flooded? Diffusers, anyone? Trained staff for the hospitality staff, please. It’s a home away from home, and I paid.
Oh, the security men are untrained and dastardly, can’t get you to park properly and are begging for money. Don’t open a hotel until you are ready. Get someone who knows to help. Get a consultant! Yes, this piece is free. See you next week.
