Women, Wealth & Power — Leadership for the whole life
By December, many people can point to proof that they “did well” this year.
-Promotions.
-Profits.
-Visibility.
-Expansion.
-Momentum.
And yet, in private conversations, the honest ones, a different story keeps emerging.
“This year reminded us that doing well is not the same as being well — and the gap between the two is where burnout, resentment, and quiet collapse live.”
I’ve spoken to several people in recent weeks who admitted, almost apologetically, that they didn’t hit the financial goals they had hoped for.
Some described feeling stuck. Others spoke of stalled plans or delayed breakthroughs.
But then, almost unexpectedly, something else surfaced.
Their family life had never been better.
They had spent real time with their children.
Their marriages felt more grounded.
Their homes felt calmer.
And many spoke of a quiet confidence about the future, difficult to justify by spreadsheets alone, yet deeply real.
What struck me was this:
by conventional business metrics, they felt inadequate — but by life metrics, they were growing.
And too often, we fail to count what truly counts.
The inadequacy of one-dimensional success
The business world loves numbers, and rightly so.
Numbers create clarity.
They force accountability.
They make progress visible.
But when financial numbers become the only reference point, leaders begin to misread their lives.
A year with slower revenue but stronger relationships is labelled a failure.
A season of consolidation is mistaken for stagnation.
A recalibration year is judged as weakness.
And so people feel behind, not because they are, but because they are measuring themselves with one incomplete ruler.
Chasing one-dimensional metrics creates a distorted sense of progress, and a quiet erosion of self-trust.
What 2025 quietly revealed
2025 exposed something many high performers are only beginning to articulate:
Success without stability is expensive.
Expensive to health.
Expensive to marriage.
Expensive to parenting.
Expensive to peace.
This year reminded us that doing well is not the same as being well — and the gap between the two is where burnout, resentment, and quiet collapse live.
Some people grew fast this year, and grew fragile.
Others grew slowly, and grew strong.
The tragedy is that we rarely celebrate the latter.
Beyond revenue: The other numbers leaders must learn to track
If leaders are serious about sustainability, there are other “numbers” that deserve equal discipline.
Not instead of financial metrics, but alongside them.
Here are a few that matter more than we admit:
1. Energy, not just income
How often did you end the week depleted versus restored?
What percentage of your work generated vitality rather than exhaustion?
Energy is the fuel that makes revenue repeatable.
2. Presence, not just productivity
How many undistracted hours did you spend with people who matter most?
How often were you physically present but mentally absent?
Presence is the currency of trust, at home and at work.
3. Margin, not just growth
How much white space exists in your life?
How often did you have room to think, reflect, or simply breathe?
Margin is where judgment improves and mistakes decrease.
4. Alignment, not just achievement
Did your wins feel congruent with who you are becoming?
Or did they quietly pull you away from yourself?
Achievement without alignment eventually feels hollow.
5. Confidence in the future, not just control of the present
Did you end the year anxious or quietly assured — even if the numbers weren’t perfect?
That unexplainable confidence many people described this year is not delusion.
It is often the byproduct of inner stability forming beneath external uncertainty.
Why many people feel inadequate when they shouldn’t
When leaders only count what is visible, they undervalue what is foundational.
Time invested in children or aging parents, doesn’t show up on balance sheets.
Emotional repair in marriage doesn’t trend on dashboards.
Personal growth doesn’t always produce immediate returns.
But these are not detours from success.
They are infrastructure.
Many people didn’t “fall behind” in 2025.
They were quietly reinforcing pillars that will carry future growth.
The danger is not slow seasons.
The danger is mislabelling them.
Stability is not the absence of ambition
Let’s be clear. Stability is not complacency.
It is not settling.
It is not playing small.
Stability is strategic.
It is the discipline of building a life that can hold pressure without cracking.
A career that doesn’t cannibalise health.
A marriage that doesn’t collapse under ambition.
A leadership identity that doesn’t disappear when the title does or when you are subject to blackmail.
Stability is what allows success to compound, rather than combust.
A year-end practice: Staying present while recharging
As the year winds down, many people enter the holidays exhausted; physically present, but mentally elsewhere.
Still chasing numbers.
Still replaying what didn’t happen.
Still postponing rest until some imagined finish line.
But this season offers a quieter invitation.
Presence is not laziness.
Rejuvenation is not indulgence.
They are leadership disciplines.
One simple practice I’ve found grounding this year, and shared with the leaders I mentor, is a gentle review done with family, not apart from them.
No pressure.
No performance.
Just honesty.
I call it a gratitude, victory, and progress reflection — anchored in tangibles and intangibles.
Tangibles
• What did we build, earn, complete, or achieve this year?
• What moved forward, even if not as fast as planned?
• What foundations were laid?
Intangibles
• Where did we grow closer?
• What relationships strengthened?
• What did we learn about ourselves?
• Where did peace replace pressure?
• What resilience did we build?
When families pause to count both, something shifts.
People realise they did not come up short — they were simply counting too narrowly.
Why this matters more than we think
Gratitude is not passive.
Gratitude ignites growth.
When we acknowledge progress, especially the unseen kind — we restore confidence.
We stop shaming ourselves for seasons that were meant to stabilise, not accelerate.
Children learn that life is not measured by trophies alone.
Partners learn to celebrate what held them together.
Leaders learn that growth is multi-dimensional.
If we count what truly matters, we will not come up short.
The year-end truth we must carry forward
Success announces itself.
Stability sustains everything beneath it.
In 2025, many people expanded their reach, but neglected their foundations.
They grew outward while eroding inward.
As we step into a new year, the most powerful leaders will not be the busiest or the loudest.
They will be the most grounded.
The ones who understand that success is an event, but stability is a system.
And systems, not moments, are what last.
So before you rush into new targets, ask yourself this:
What are you stabilising — not just scaling?
Because the future doesn’t belong to those who rise the fastest.
It belongs to those who can stay standing.
This is a leadership paradigm shift — and one that is particularly important for women, who are often taught to measure success narrowly while carrying the weight of everything else.
Udo Maryanne Okonjo: Chairwoman, Fine & Country West Africa. Founder, Radiant Collective Capital
