‘Why are you eating like that? If you can’t chew properly please leave the dining table.’ These were the words I heard from my big sister when I was six years old…words that I would ever forget. Moving forward, I didn’t only chew quietly with my mouth closed but I also became an advocate for proper table manners. When any of my classmates ate carelessly at school, I was always prompt to reprimand. Over the years, I still do so but on a toned down level so as not to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Pet peeves are quite common. I’m sure everyone has that one thing that makes their irritation-meter spike and sometimes ignites an intense reaction. When those skin crawling occurrences take place, you say to yourself, ‘This person has got to be kidding me!’ The situation would seem so unreal and infuriating at the same time.
I for one absolutely hate it when people litter. You see people throw dirt out of a car window on to the street, burning questions come to mind like, ‘Do you have a servant who’s going to pick up after you or you expect the dirt to dissolve itself into the tarred road or couldn’t you just wait till you found a bin?’
Let’s not even forget the unpleasant habit of people turning the roads and bridges to their rest rooms. My 11 year old niece almost had a fit during her first visit to Nigeria. Shocking sounds came from her at the back seat every second which is how often she spotted a person doing the forbidden act.
Another peeve that really grinds my gears is when people drag their feet.
The sound makes me want to pull out my hair from my scalp. In my opinion it causes unnecessary wear and tear to shoe soles and is just plain annoying.
Then there are general annoyances that a majority would identify with. For instance when I am in a hurry and I rush to the ATM machine only to find a cue which I have no problem with unless people start wasting time like they own the bank. They check their balance after each withdrawal like they can’t do the calculation of what should remain or per chance the ATM fairy added a few more zeros to their balance.
You may not understand my rage as some of these peeves are personal however, I took time to search out peeves that plague other people in a bid to console myself and all I can say is I am in good company.
We all have peeves but they vary because everyone is different with different backgrounds and experiences. Therefore we cannot go about pointing out things that we are not comfortable with, this would only have negative outcomes. Annoying moments would present itself more often than we prefer therefore we need to learn to deal with the situation in the most respectful and appropriate manner.
I discovered a few survival measures when faced with that repulsive situation. First of all, you must acknowledge the existence of the pet peeve. Rather than deny you are irritated by the slower driver in the left lane, acknowledge your reaction. Denial may lead to increased stress on your body and state of mind. Become fully aware of the moment and listen to the stress the irritation is causing. Only when something is acknowledged can it then be treated and resolved.
Secondly you must resist the urge to vent. Venting over a situation is not the same as resolving a situation. When we vent, we tend to stay in the negative moment and bring up even more negative thoughts and triggers.
Venting can become a habit just like the reaction to the pet peeve. In addition, venting can intensify the feelings of the pet peeve and cause even more stress, frustration and irritation.
Thirdly we must know that it is not personal. The person with the loud chewing is not trying to get on your nerves intentionally although it sure can feel that way sometimes. Remember our pet peeves belong to us; we own them. Therefore, be conscious not to allow your personal irritation fester into damaging anger or retaliation against another person.
Finally if possible find a healthy release. Confront the person in a loving manner and explain what his/her habit does to you.
These simple steps have definitely helped me and I hope it does the same for you.
Good luck!
Oluwaseyi Lawal
