Are you feeling lonely or bored? Why are you ashamed admitting that fact? Anyway, being lonely or bored is nothing to be ashamed of. Pretending to live a “flying” or gay social life is a way of inundating yourself, when in reality; you are sitting in front of your television set with a glass of wine or stuck all day long to your android phone, Iphone, turning in and out of various social networks and sites. Let us face the truth, those means are half way helping yourself to resolve your present state of loneliness, boredom or let’s at this point call it a challenge.
I was privileged to listen to Tinuke, a 26 years old lady sharing her love story sometimes in April this year. Oh! That Rwanda movie comes to mind, this is far from it. I will save the story for another edition. For this, I am only sharing my own part of the conversation and advice, which I rendered Tinuke, an independent young and lively lady, who felt she couldn’t move on after being heartbroken. Being hurt is not the worst thing that will ever happen to us. Not to love is far worse. So start with loving yourself.
It has become a norm for most girls or ladies; if you like, who have been dating a particular guy for a reasonable period of time to realise that they have not got their own circle of friends after breakup or ideally stated; when they split up. Honestly, getting oneself organised after such relationship challenge could probably be a very difficult and unimaginable task to undertake. At times, it results to trauma.
Embedded in this writing are ideas to facilitate your moving on without any sense of boredom or loneliness. The first idea that came up my mind was: This could be an opportunity for you to learn another foreign language in addition to the one you already have. You could take French classes; I bet you, only the most interesting people will do a thing like that. Check out some other languages taught as well. One thing that impresses a man is seeing his woman converses in some languages that he does not understand at all?
Taking up a part-time fashion designing class is fine, for the guys, learning how to fix and repair gadgets: phones, computers and other things around you; how to fix car tyres cannot be out of place. As a lady, if you want to learn the latter, it might come in very handy for you, I bet the guy will trip that you can do such…very rare these days.
You might want to check the national theatre (not movie cinema this time, which might remind you of your erstwhile relationship), if you are in Lagos; there are some live drama productions there. Go and see what it is all about. So, when you are asked what you did last night and you feel obliged to respond, you can say “I went to the theatre”. This draws more attention to yourself than if you had said “I was at home all through, seeing movies all to myself”.
Could it be daring if I asked you to take up Karate classes? or become the first female kung fu artist among your folk? It sounds ludicrous, but there are lot of guys out there who will like to see a lady let out a little steam, or flex muscles with you. “Who will teach me”? I hear you ask but I know you can find trainers at stadium in Ojuelegba, Lagos. And hey, you can never tell, things happens, your skills can stir up a good relationship…just saying!
Yes! You can also take up amateur photography. Not that you cannot be professional, but just to start with and kill that boredom first of all. There are so many photographers around who will be willing to teach a lady. Go and get enrolled, maybe for a token, few private lessons. I just cannot see any of them refusing to put a beautiful lady like you through.
Why don’t you start or join some associations (non-governmental, political or otherwise). Just start something going. It doesn’t really have to last, it’s not necessary, it will last as long as it can serve a purpose; your need for it, so when suddenly you find you are no longer interested don’t be ashamed to drop it, your need for it no longer exists. But while it does, it is a marvellous way of getting people together. That way too, you will learn that you are certainly not the only person in that situation. You might also find people that you have a lot more in common with and interesting too.
Turning down invitations isn’t a way of serving yourself a scintillating social life but you must however be careful with the kind of invitations you accept and if you say yes to any invitation, turn up with a nice hairdo and outfit and turn heads!
Sport! Yes! Take up some sporting activities and also try yoga and visiting the gym. This time gives you an opportunity to exercise, control and promote your mind and body.
GODDEY ODIN
