Some parents don’t fully understand when to draw the line when it comes to discipline. They tend to insult their children while trying to make corrections. They beat the children until they bleed and in some cases they die. Most times, some parents just give weird rules and instructions that they feel will guide their teenagers, but instead those strict rules make teenagers turn out to rebellious while some others feel inferior to their friends because they feel being held down by some rules that makes no sense at all. I am a typical example of such who had weird and strict rules while growing up. My dad was (and still is) a strict disciplinarian. The kind I had never seen in my whole life. While growing up, I always thought he was the most wicked man on earth (certainly not anymore). While I was in junior secondary school, my dad always insisted that I go on low cut. Funny enough, he personally cut my hair himself and he wasn’t a barber. Well, you can imagine how bad it was. “That is the only way that she will be able to concentrate on her books. ” he would say to my mother each time I cried to my mum. My friends laughed at me and scorned me. Everybody had names for me like Ronaldo, Chicharito, Obente. Each name was given according to the style of new hair cut I brought to school each month.
When I got to Senior Secondary School, it got worse. One day, I offended my dad and he shaved my hair completely. The worst part was, I was in SS3! I cried and cried. I applied relaxer, conditioner, gel, hair growth, and all you could think of on my bald head (Gosh! Thinking about it now…silly me), hoping that it will grow magically or mysteriously or any way possible over the weekend before school on Monday. But when I looked at the mirror on Monday morning, with a feeling of dread and hope, my head was still bald and shiny as ever. I dropped on the ground crying and cursing. On my way to school, a man called me and said “fine girl, how u dey na?” I was really ashamed so I just looked away and ran, before he said something that will dampen my spirit. But then, I couldn’t ignore the look in that man’s eyes. It was a look of lust, want and longing.
Then I thought to myself, that means all my dad’s effort to protect me from men was just a waste of time. Most times, some men are so ‘hungry’ that they don’t care about the looks; they just want to satisfy their carnal cravings. But then, that was me looking all innocent, with a school bag, and with head as bright as a diamond, and a man admired me. I could have just listened to that man, gotten carried away by sweet words, gotten lured, followed him to his house and…you know the rest but, because I had been instilled with good manners, I ran away. So you see? Parental disciplined and tutelage isn’t bad after all but shouldn’t be extreme, there has to be balances I mean, thinking about this experience again, I remember getting to school that day and everyone stared at me in shock “We all know you come to school with bad hair cuts but this, is beyond the ordinary.”
A girl told me. I felt like slapping her and releasing the whole anger in my mind, spirit and soul on her but I just stayed mute and ran to the toilet to sob. I told everyone different stories, some that I fell ill and my hair had to be shaved, some I told something else. I was the talk of the entire SS3 for that period until my hair finally grew back. All these made withdraw to my shell; I couldn’t ask questions, I couldn’t contribute in class. I was usually alone. I was usually depressed and frustrated. I felt inferior to my peers. All these was just as a result of dad trying to be a disciplinarian, trying to protect me from the world, trying to create rules and regulation that he thought would shape my life. He did this with a mind that he was exerting discipline that he was doing what God commanded not to spare the rod and spoil the child but he didn’t know the way I was feeling those times. He didn’t understand that I was going through a hard time understanding those rules he created, I was trying so hard to understand why he beats at any little things. At times, I sought ways to talk to him but he always thought he was right and he would constantly give quotes from the bible. I longed and hoped for the day that I will become an adult. I am a young adult now and I understand things a lot better. However, not every teenager is strong enough to hold on for so long with such harsh disciplinary measures. Looking at my past now, and the present I realize he did it all out of love and I owe him a lot of thanks.
CHINYERE OKEREKE
