The retired partners of KPMG who are still awaiting their gratuity and pension have agreed to sign the auditors’ report to the effect that Ambassador (Dr.) Patrick Dele Cole is not mad. We have relied on the following third party confirmation: “He was Ambassador of the Federal Republic of Nigeria to Brazil (1987-1990). He bagged a Masters degree from University of Otago (New Zealand) and a PhD from King’s College, Cambridge (not King’s College, Lagos). Over a period of almost fifty years, he has participated vigorously in the private and public sectors in Nigeria in addition to holding a wide range of political offices, including Deputy National Chairman [South South] of the People’s Democratic Party of Nigeria [1998-1999] and Special Adviser on International Relations to President Olusegun Obasanjo (1999-2001).”
The audit (or maybe medical report) would not have been necessary if he had not started a viral war on Twitter, Facebook and the rest of social media by preceding his excellent article (published in Vanguard and Guardian newspapers), “Nigeria: Time to Rehabilitate Fela Ransome-Kuti” with the following introduction: “Many would think I am mad for suggesting that Fela deserves to have a city, or an airport – or at the worst the National Theatre, named after him.”
The previous week in The Guardian, he fired a nuclear missile,
“President Buhari Should Apologise to Nigerians” (http://www.ngrguardiannews.com/2015/10/president-buhari-should-apologise-to-nigerians/).
As if to confirm that he is really a serial offender or at worst a closet terrorist, Cole has in his other recent articles, which were published in The Guardian, Vanguard and BusinessDay, launched missiles at Lt.-General T. Y. Danjuma, Akinwunmi Adesina (president of the African Development Bank) and numerous others. Among his victims is his own son, Tonye, the CEO of Sahara Energy. By his own account, he means no harm. Nothing personal at all. Patrick will always be Patrick! According to him, if the truth must be told, someone has to bell the cat, even if the cat has nine lives and numerous tails (or tales).
It is very tempting to dwell on the turbulent relationship between Ambassador Cole and the combative General Obasanjo further dimensioned by Patrick’s far more serene relationship with the equally combative Wole Soyinka, the Nobel laureate who is an unrepentant foe of General Obasanjo. Get the picture? It’s all very confusing. A steamy cauldron.
Nevertheless, I was somewhat intrigued to be invited to lunch by Prof David Myles-Ford who was a contemporary of Ambassador Cole at Cambridge. The venue was the oldest pub in the university town: The Pickerel Inn, 30 Magdalene Street, Cambridge CB3 OAF. It dates back to the 16th Century. Parts of it were rebuilt in the 17th Century and those still stand. The façade and frontage were rebuilt in late 19th Century.
It turned out that the distinguished professor of History has just written a book on Patrick Dele Cole with the title, ‘Bringing COAL to Cambridge’, and he had been signing autographed copies at Hatchards all morning. The book has been selling well ahead of the informal pre-launch which will hold at Cambridge City Hotel, Downing Street, Cambridge City Centre next week. What was strange, though, was that he had autographed so many copies (like late British Prime Minister Ted Heath and his book on ‘SAILING’) that the ones he did not sign were selling for £10 while the autographed copies were fetching only £4!
What appeared to have intrigued Myles-Ford is that so many of Patrick’s Nigerian contemporaries at Cambridge University died early while Patrick Dele Cole keeps going from strength to strength – just slagging off everybody. Some of the names on the casualty list were Segun Awolowo; Babatunde Williams; Oluwole Brown; Kunle Oyenuga; Ibrahim Tahir; Alex Egom; Fred Ogene, etc. It was not for me to add that the circle goes beyond Cambridge – to Stanley Macebuh, Remi Oluwole, Tunde Cole-Onitiri, Alex Ibru, Torch Taire and several others who were all very best friends of Patrick. Special mention must be made of late General Shehu Yar’Adua. Anyway, only Ambassador Cole can explain why he chose to declare his erstwhile boss, Obasanjo, a “verbal terrorist”!
Subsequently, Patrick penned a damning article: “Lt-Gen. Danjuma, Purges, Probes and Economy” (http://www.ngrguardiannews.com/2015/08/lt-gen-danjuma-purges-probes-and-economy-1/).
What is somewhat disconcerting is that even the author appeared to be concerned about Patrick’s safety and wellbeing if he insists on spilling the beans regardless of whose ox is gored – friends and/or foes alike.
It turns out that the book has been doing brisk business and the official launching next month would be at the Waterpark, Cambridge, followed by lunch at The Three Horseshoes Restaurant, High Street, Madingley, Cambridge. Richard Stokes is the chef-owner. There is also a play “This Is Who I Am”, on at the Cambridge Arts Theatre – 6 St. Edward’s Passage, Cambridge CB2 3PJ. It is based on the book about Ambassador Cole. The response has been so encouraging that a film, also about Patrick, is already in the works, with the title “You Know You Are In Serious Trouble”.
To a large extent, the book as well as the play and the film capture the essence of Patrick Dele Cole – from his early years in Port Harcourt, Eastern Nigeria followed by his student days at Ibadan Grammar School, Ibadan, Western Nigeria, where he formed a longlasting friendship with Alex Ibru who was his junior. Then on to New Zealand for his university. Strange choice. However, it was in Cambridge that he really blossomed – debonair, hedonistic, and brilliant scholar. He had a swagger and kept a hip flask stuck permanently in the back pocket of his drain-pipe jeans topped with a leather jacket or corduroy coat with patched on shoulder pads.
There are also touching snippets of Patrick showing up at Babatunde Williams’ house on Apapa Road, Lagos with Akin Denton, Akin Coker, Fred Ogene, Martin Ikediashi, etc and my humble self.
Permit me to add that in his book ‘Modern and Traditional Elite in the Politics of Lagos’, he provides resounding confirmation that the first political party in Nigeria was the People’s Union founded in 1908 by my grandfather, Dr. J.K. Randle. What I liked best about both the play and the film is the sublime contribution of the music of the legendary Fela Ransome-Kuti at well-timed intervals to provide an Afrobeat backdrop. “Beautiful Dancer” was followed by “Teacher Don’t Teach Me Nonsense”, and then “African Woman” (She Is A Lady) as well as “Colonial Mentality”. The repertoire was stretched to include “Suffering & Smiling”; “Unknown Soldier”; “Why Black Man Dey Suffer”; “Monday Morning In Lagos”; “Dog Eat Dog”; “Confusion”; “Palaver”, etc.
In a rare gesture of sportsmanship which runs against the grain of longstanding rivalry, Oxford University has jumped on the bandwagon by declaring both Fela Ransome-Kuti and Ambassador Cole as folk heroes to be celebrated in the television series with the tentative title “GENIUS AND THE BOHEMIANS”. The pilot is riveting stuff and that is where the retired partners of KPMG plan to invest their gratuity and pension – when they get it!
J.K Randle
