Let’s say your neighbour or friend dropped off their 8 year old son at your place to play with your kids under your supervision because they had an important event to attend. While playing, your son runs in to report that the little boy under your custody for the day had said some really awful stuff using swear words while purposely uprooting your newly planted and watered hibiscus that you had taken some precious time to cultivate so as to beautify your home. Certainly, because of the relationship you have with the parents of the child, it is safe to assume that some sort of correction will be meted out. Would flogging be one of them considering this child isn’t directly yours?
For children born and raised in the 90s’ and earlier like myself, this was a no brainer. Anytime you did something wrong, from breaking a plate to using foul language, a whipping was sure to follow. No one asked questions, or explained to you why you were being flogged – this is assumed to be apparent once you are old enough to tell right from wrong. And it wasn’t always from your parent.
In the 90s’ and the generations before that, raising a child was seen as a communal effort. Because a child spent a lot of his/her time at places other than their houses say being in school, friend’s house etc, it was believed that parents alone could not put in all the work needed to raise wholistic individuals that were of great benefit to their society. And so, when someone noticed something off the norm in a child, it was okay to correct them in any means he deemed fit. It didn’t matter if they were a parent or relative to the child. As long as they were contributing to the formation of the child’s moral and social compass, they were happy and pleased with it.
Sadly, that has changed. This issue was raised on a radio show on one of our local radio stations and some listeners vehemently resisted the idea of someone else flogging their children for something done wrongly no matter the gravity. Truth be told, some people go to great heights to inflict body injuries and emotional scars on children when employing the ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ paradigm either out of anger or questionable intentions. And when this comes from someone other than you, the aftermath can be very dangerous.
However, I am a strong believer in the communal training of children but could there be other ways to go about it asides from flogging?
My father did not use a stick to beat us whenever we erred. He didn’t beat much anyways but whenever he needed to, one of his many leather belts were handy to do the correcting. My mum was good with shoes. Who else had a mum who loved to beat with slippers and any footwear or kitchen utensil that was handy? (lol) But the truth is, I cannot say for sure that the beatings shaped me and my siblings into the people we are today. It must have factored into creating and building a sense of discipline in us, but it wasn’t everything.
For me, beyond the whipping and slaps and physical punishments lies an even more effective strategy; example. I am still amazed at the speed at which kids pick up activities going on around them and this is something every parent should use to their advantage. While their minds are still impressionable and keen to absorb, what impressions are you creating? What examples are you showing them that they can absorb to be wholistic individuals that are of advantage to their communities? After all, the Holy Book says that if you train a child in the way he should go, he will not depart from it.
