I have decided to take a break from fiction writing because the reality of another issue weighs heavily on my mind. Sometime last week, I was at a gathering and my stomach began to growl but all I had was a pack of mints. So I popped a few into my mouth.
Since courtesy demands that you offer your neighbours (so), I did; but they declined. As I returned my mints to my bag, a lady two seats away signalled that she was interested. I had no problem with her asking, so I gave her the pack to help herself and I returned my attention to the reason for the gathering.
Upon the passing of a few seconds when I ought to have received my pack of mints, I hadn’t. So I turned to ask for it and then she signalled to me that she was keeping it. I was appalled by this. It was rude and inconsiderate to assume ownership of my own pack of mints. It is only proper to take one or two if the person is a friend or family member but no more unless permitted to because there could have been others that I may have been others I would have liked to give, not to talk of helping myself to some more. I wasn’t upset, instead I got to thinking how it was still possible to make such blunders in this day and age and the answer I gave myself was quite simple: the lady did not know any better.
Hence, I have taken upon myself the social responsibility of researching and highlighting basic etiquettes on this platform. There are manuals on how to act in literally every facet of life e.g. business etiquette, email etiquette, table etiquette, amongst many others. We all need to live such that we don’t inconvenience others.
For now I would focus on the area that carries the most irritating blunders which is table etiquette. Never chew with your mouth open because doing otherwise is just as good as letting people see your number two at the bottom of the toilet. This can cause sensitive eaters to lose their appetite and you would not be thanked for that. That is unless the food turns out to be harmful and you fall dangerously ill or worse.
Another is slurping and smacking while eating. No one needs to know what you are eating or that you are eating unless your mouth is seen moving. Personally, I think it even takes a lot of energy to produce excessive and irrelevant sounds while eating. The energy spent in the mouth would not burn any calories. It would only burn your relationship with the people around who hear you eat.
Do not pick your teeth at the table. Now there, don’t get yourself all worked up. So what if food is stuck in your teeth? Here’s what you should do. Excuse yourself from the table, fish it out while in the bathroom and be sure to wash your hands afterwards.
Please do not lick your fingers after finger foods or use your finger to push your food onto your fork. Use a napkin for the former and a knife for the latter.
It is wrong to go over another person’s plate in an attempt to take something that is out of your reach. If you need something, tell the person closest to pass it on until it eventually gets to you.
This next one is a close relative to chewing with an open mouth, talking with your mouth full. Apart from the fact that this is a rather unpleasant sight to behold, it is hazardous. Rather than entering the oesophagus, the food may be forced to go through the trachea. This can cause choking or pneumonia if the food makes it down to the lungs. Scary but true.
Everyone burp but when a burp is coming on, cover the mouth with a napkin; quietly burp, and softly say, “Excuse me.” For an attack of hiccups, excuse yourself from the table until they have passed.
Another faux pas that may occur is putting your elbows on the table. There are two major reasons why this is bad. The first is that it makes you look too eager and secondly, this may disturb your neighbours on either side and cause accidents like knocking over a glass or something. However, when done eating and in the middle of a discussion, feel free to use your hands as you like.
Don’t forget to say please and thank you. I do hope these tips help as you socialize.
Have a great Sunday!
Oluwaseyi Lawal
