It is social. It is spontaneous. It is informal. It is interactive. To some, it comes easy , to others it takes a lot of practice.
To you, it may not be that difficult, yet many find it stressful.
It is called Conversation. A conversation can happen anywhere and at any time. In the office, at home, bus stations, to mention just a few.
Our focus here is on face-to-face conversation. However, Intrapersonal communication which takes place within an individual is crucial because it paves way for a healthy social interaction for human co-existence. When you introspect effectively, you communicate wisely. You can tell a person’ s mentality from what he says and does during a discussion.
The act of conversation is as old as man. The art of conversation dates back to Socrates and ancient Greeks.
The presence of Information technology in modern society has taken conversation to a higher platform. Aside writing letters and talking through the telephone, myriads of conversations take place on the internet via email and several other chat platforms.
Good conversation skills is very important. Because it is a social interaction, it follows rules of etiquette. Adherence to these rules foster goodwill and harmony, otherwise a conversation deteriorates and eventually terminates. When a discussion is going on, each party is expected to contribute positively. Like a tennis, talks should flow back and forth, stroke for stroke.This brings about understanding.
In a face-to-face encounter, you can get immediate response without misunderstanding. You can use eye contact and easily read the other person’s body language. It saves time and cements relationships.
A conversation is an opportunity to discuss several topics such as subjective ideas, objective facts, people, places and so much more. Of course, gossip is a form of conversation whereby you talk about other people especially when they are absent. It usually bleeds bad blood and so should be avoided. It is different from a functional conversation that is aimed at achieving meaningful goals.
Every man and woman engage in conversations everyday.A study conducted in 2007 by Mathias Mehl of the University of Arizona, shows that on average each of the sexes uses about 16,000 words per day.
Interestingly, conversations happen with both friends and strangers. Some people are afraid to talk with others. They simply believe that they lack the intelligence to propel a meaningful discussion. In business meetings you may not be able to avoid small talks. A good way to start is to build your confidence, arm yourself with important facts and be ready to ask questions when necessary.
Avoid what Charles Derber calls ‘Conversational narcissism’. As a sociologist and author of the book, ‘The Pursuit of Attention: Power and Ego in Everyday Life’, Derber discloses that in America where the social support system is relatively weak, people tend to compete mightily for attention. This is reflected in their tendency to dominate conversations by constantly talking about themselves. This attention-getting psychology pushes people to gab and not listen.
To talk and not allow others to contribute, is not a good habit.
A good conversation is not a monopoly.
A good conversation is not a face-off.
Face to face, we can communicate competently.
CHIAMAKA BOBBY-UMEANO
