Ben
Q: Why do we need laws?
A: Laws define the limits of our freedom.
Q: But we are a democracy, which means we have a huge latitude of freedom.
A: Yes, but freedom is always limited. Unlimited freedom means chaos, and no society, however organised, and no form of government, however named, can tolerate chaos.
Q: But laws are useless unless enforced.
A: That’s right. Laws that are unenforced or unenforceable are as bad as no laws at all.
Q: Is there such a thing as an unforceable law?
A: Yes. For instance, a law that stipulates a punishment grossly disproportionate to the offence.
Q: For example?
A: Take a minor traffic offence, such as driving without proper brake lights, making a right or left turn without signalling, or driving in the wrong direction on a one-way street.
Q: What would be a proportionate penalty for such offences?
A: Many countries would just let you off with a verbal warning “or levy a fine roughly equivalent to one or two thousand naira.
Q: How do they do it?
A: The traffic warden issues a written ticket or summons indicating the amount of fine and where to pay it” or if you prefer, a date to appear in court to plead your case.
Q: You mean this is done on the spot?
A: On the spot, so that within ten minutes you’re on your way to the day’s business.
Q: What would be a disproportionate penalty?
A: A fine of two hundred and fifty thousand naira, plus a compulsory court appearance followed by a court-ordered psychiatric examination to determine what could possibly motivate you to break a traffic law.
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Q: Whoa! Are there such laws in Nigeria? You must be joking.
A: There are such laws. And all it does is allow the traffic wardens to extort money from motorists.
Q: How do they do that?
A: They block your way so you can’t move without running them over. Then they get in your car and either take over and drive or force you to drive to some obscure side street. Then they lecture you, insult you and intimidate you. If you refuse to give the money they demand, they drive you to their depot. At the depot they deflate your tyres and seize your car keys. They show you the tattered print-out of the law requiring this huge sum and psychiatric examination. Would you rather go through the process or pay them N30,000 for a quick release so you can go about your business?
Q: So what do you do?
A: What can you do? You reason with them, but they are beyond reason. You offer what you believe to be extenuating explanations for your error but they are beyond explanations. You beg them but they are deaf to all entreaties. You must pay up or wait to see their boss.
Q: Ah, that’s good. The boss is bound to be more reasonable.
A: No he isn’t. They are all in the same extortion racket. The outrageous law merely set up market for them and they are ruthless.
Q: So what happens next?
A: You begin to bargain with them. You offer N5,000. They walk away in anger. You offer N7,000 and they say it must be N18,000 or nothing. This goes on until they reluctantly agree to N10,000.
Q: What if you don’t have N10,000 on you?
A: Then you will take okada to go home or find an ATM to get N10,000.
Q: Na wah-o!
A: Once they get in your car you can never get off for less than N10,000.
Q: So they can manage to collect N500,000 naira before end of work day?
A: Quite possibly.
Q: Does the governor know this?
A: He is not blind, deaf or dumb.
Q: Hhmn! This is serious!
A: It is . . . . Now, let me ask you: do you know why old people have a reputation for talking too much?
Q: No. Why?
A: Because they talk to young people when young people are not in the mood to listen.
Q: But I’m always in the mood.
A: Not always but still, you’re one of the exceptions. When young people are in the mood to listen, they can learn a lot. They will make their own mistakes, of course, but they will know some of the mistakes made by their elders and be able to avoid repeating some of them. In addition, they will learn some significant things you can’t find in any book. That way, wisdom won’t be wasted or die with the old but be passed on to the younger generation.
Q: Tell me more, sir.
A: This is only an appetizer. Onu mara o-ga eri eri. Tell mouth say na better food dey come . . . .
