I am one of those women who are unable to take physical pain. I also have zero tolerance for injustice and poor customer service. These positions of mine have set me up against some of the most powerful persons in both my official and social spaces. I have been known to stop and inquire from a mechanic terrorising a little girl selling groundnut seller why he would not fight his contemporary. I have also been known to query foul mouthed receptionists, lazy secretaries and gum-chewing front office personnel.
I have encountered in this journey snide comments, resistance, abuse and jeers. This is because people simply choose to walk off and mind their business “when an airline takes every one for granted “or “when a rude secretary is displaying her antecedents” costing everyone poor service or no service at all. People opt to be treated badly, short-changed or cheated because they would rather not change the narrative that has given Nigeria a bad name; Impunity, poor work ethics, poor customer service, inefficiency, 419, corruption etcetera.
I have often wondered why there are only two of us in a group of say eight who refuse to fall for a soliciting Nigerian at the gates of a supermarket or at a customer service point. I simply do not owe you anything extra for providing a service for which you already earn a salary. No one would make me do it under duress, if I wish to tip; that is my prerogative. But not so many of my countrymen… So you arrive at an airport and a nouveau rich business man or even in some cases a high-end public officer is doling out cash to some officials or airport layabouts in full public view: “This is for drinks” and everybody scurries forward and appoints themselves their new P.A’s and bodyguards. While this is going on, tax-paying Nigerians are ignored or disrespected at the service point of the same area. All of a sudden, these minions are creating a path for these cash doling individuals, jumping queues on their behalf, pushing you out of the way and smiling sheepishly. It is not service, it is corruption and impunity.
I often firmly explain that there is a queue and I will expect everyone no matter who it is to join it. This usually falls on deaf ears and the critical mass to join me in stopping them is completely unavailable. This happens in banks, on supermarket queues and at many service points. Sometimes I wonder if we have not been treated badly for so long that we are no longer conversant with our rights.
But pain, physical abuse is a different kettle of fish entirely. Worldwide, physical and emotional abuse has taken a new dimension and it often affects more women than men. In India, It is typical for men to grope at women, in Brazil, unrequited love by a woman may result in death. That is the sign of machismo. In Nigeria, rape, incest, frontal and undercover sexual abuse is still ongoing. How does one describe a male colleague whose only way of talking to you is shouting? Why should a woman be asked to check the caterers at a meet? Why should anyone for that matter slap a woman in the course of her official duties?
I cannot bear impunity, violence of any sort, disrespect and high handedness. The story is told of a serving legislator, representative Mrakpor who was slapped in a traffic log jam at the National Assembly gates because an aide needed to clear the route for his Boss. In our history, deaths have occurred in the hands of siren bearing aides. Who is an Aide? Is he a monster? Can he not be called to order? My support staff know that they cannot as much as be rude to a visitor in my office space, even if the visitor were a toad. An aide reducing the esteem of a female member of the house in an unprovoked encounter? The story is that the legislator wound down her car window to see what the banging of her window was about while restraining her police orderly from coming down in order not to escalate the situation. She was greeted with a slap and the typical Nigerian question “Do you know who we are?”
An aide who behaves in such an unacceptable manner must be brought to book not shielded by his boss who in doing so may show himself as capable of such despicable behaviour. Any obstacle to justice in this matter would be seen as feeding the international narrative that Nigeria is a jungle where anything goes. This is the narrative that the President’s shuttle diplomacy is working hard to upturn. Anyone who is deepening that narrative is not a friend of Nigeria .The legislator has gone to court (Good on her) and has said if she does nothing about this at her level then women of all classes will be cannon fodder.
I am with you madam. I would have done the same. Pain, violence, injustice, impunity, poor customer service is unacceptable, One day, one fine day, Nigeria would conquer. It is within our reach but everyone must do their bit.
Eugenia Abu
