Twenty years in America and not a penny in the bank! Taiwo, you’re turning into a sloganeer.”
“I’m sure Nigerians in UK are just as poor if not poorer,” said Ogbuagu. “They’re not coming home in droves either.”
We were still at mid-week lunch in our favorite restaurant by the lagoon, de-briefing Taiwo from his visit to America.
“I think you’re wrong in saying Nigerians abroad have nothing to come home to,” I said. “They have their village, their parents, their relatives and their old friends.”
“How many Nigerians in the townships have returned to their village?”
“They do at festival times,” I said.
“But only then,” said Ogbuagu.
“Most Nigerians abroad can’t afford the airfare, plus ocean freight to bring home their belongings,” said Taiwo. “And when they land they have nowhere to stay and nowhere to put their belongings. They can’t afford a hotel, and their friends and relatives have no space in their already congested flats. Besides, if they’ve lived abroad for long they are probably married with children. They must stay abroad and at least see their children through school. Unless they have a job or a business . . .”
“Or someone lays out for them a landing pad . . .”
“Such angels are rare. God bless them.”
We ate in silence for a while.
“By the way,” I said, taking in Taiwo’s ‘pleasingly plump’ figure, “you seem to have lost some weight, my friend.”
“Yes indeed,” he said, “and I plan to lose more. Here’s another slogan for you: All the rich are thin, all the fat are poor.”
“All?” asked Ogbuagu. “What survey did you conduct?”
“The survey of ‘all that meets the eye.’ Virtually everyone you see at airports boarding or disembarking is slim. Same with people driving expensive cars and jeeps. The fat people you see are not as well dressed, their cars neither flashy nor new, and the general hospitals (as against the private ones) are overflowing with them—grossly overweight, barely able to walk, gobbling cake and slurping huge mugs of sugary soft drinks. Their particular domain is the fast food joints—where 99 percent of the employees, male and female, and 65 percent of the customers, are elephants.”
“Are you saying that in oyibo, fat is not ‘evidence of good living’ as in Naija?”
“It is evidence of ignorant living anywhere. Low class, low education, lack of discipline.”
“But some obesity results from natural body chemistry.”
“Those are the exceptions, of course. You can feel sorry for those people. They are alive only because of advanced medical care.”
“America the beautiful! How did it get so ugly?”
“America, as I learned, works by contrary motion. First they race madly in one fanatical direction, then by almost superhuman effort they attempt to reverse and correct themselves.”
“Do they succeed?”
“Hardly.”
“So what happened with obesity?”
“It’s the food processing companies, the soft drink companies, the fast food restaurant chains. Each developed a ‘formula that sells’, and sold it with a vengeance. Tons of sugar in every bowl of food and bottle of drink, enough to make you throw up. Layers of fat from over-fattened cows and pigs relentlessly ground into beef ‘burgers’, pork sausages, ‘hot dogs’ and ‘frankfurters’ to make more money. All-you-can-eat of low-priced fried-in-animal-fat foods, and all-you-can-drink of sugary minerals. Seeming bonanza for the low-income classes—but deadly!”
“I thought they had a ministry that regulates food and drugs.”
“They do. But whenever government objected the food and beverage industries confronted them with phalanxes of scientists and lawyers arguing that the products were both safe and legal and government intervention was ‘unconstitutional’. This went on for 50 years. The companies made their money feeding the nation with ‘junk food’. Then everyone woke up one day to find the carcasses of obesity, heart disease and diabetes hanging on their necks.”
“What happened next?”
“Well, then began the counter-motion, attempting to undo the damage.”
“And, with it, a brand-new industry, I bet.”
“Several multi-billion dollar industries: the exercise, weight loss and eating-right industries with thousands of ever-changing low salt, low sugar and low fat diets, plus gyms, exercise machines, TV programs and do-it-yourself videos; the pharmaceutical companies with best-selling super-pills for diabetes, heart disease and hypertension every few years; and the health insurance industries that made a rich harvest of it all.”
“Were the offending food and beverage companies ever sanctioned or held to account?”
“No. They accept no guilt. They were ‘exercising their constitutional freedom’ making money.”
“Didn’t the tobacco industry argue the same?”
“Exactly. It took nearly a century before the tobacco industry and their experts and lawyers were finally defeated, cigarette advertising was restricted, and smoking was banned in buses, trains, aircraft, schools and public buildings.”
“But the manufacture of cigars and cigarettes wasn’t banned?”
“No. When it comes to final banning the constitutionalists always win.”
“The gun manufacturers also plead the constitution . . .”
“That’s right. Ultimately, the governing principle in the American marketplace is Buyer Beware!”
“Pass the buck! You’re on your own!”
“A sucker is born every minute, they say. And if you’re a sucker you get taken.”
“The entire nation gets suckered everytime…”
“Lucky we have no diabetes, heart disease or high blood pressure in Naija . . .”
“Oh really. . . ???”
Onwuchekwa Jemie
