Her smile lights up her eyes as she banters with her son about taking a new wife. She informs him that she doesn’t give permission and never will. She bursts into a girly laughter, guttural warm and genuine. She nibbles thoughtfully at her slice of wheat bread and drinks her tea while still giggling. Her son informs her he has found a nice woman hardworking and educated. She gives him the eye under her gaze the slice of brown bread she is eating… Lets see where you will bring that girl and who is better than “Iye Ojoma”. Laughter all round. She throws her head back a mass of grey hair frames her face, the streaks running from forehead to nape of neck.
Iye Ojoma is me, the man is my husband and the humorous woman with a head of grey is my mother-in-law Madam Maria Iye-Ojo Hadiza Abu who passed on to glory three weeks ago. Mama as she is fondly called was a woman of very few words, speaking only when it was necessary. Each word considered, each thought profound. She married my Father-In-Law late Joseph Ibrahim Abu of blessed memory when she was but a young woman. Her pictures as a young lady portrayed calm and determination and you can see that her stretched hair parted on the side, her extra wrapper edge hanging over her right hand as was the fashion of the day stood her apart from her peers. My Father-in-law who was always on point with well cut flannel trousers, a well polished two tan pair of shoes was a man of fashion. My Mother-in-law’s blouse, her demeanour, her strappy sandals was an indication of the fashion pulse at the time. When I look at my husband, I see his mum’s cracking humour, and her quiet mien. Fashion? Oh yes.
The things we miss about our loved ones are often just a smile, a hug, calls in the dead of night and early morning when your spirits are low. Mama was famous for calling to lighten one’s spirit. When my mum died, she would call every morning to pray for me. She was the woman everyone went to in her Makurdi resident where she was confidant, landlady and caregiver to everyone’s child. Her tenants in Makurdi will miss her as would all those who came to know her at her last place of abode my sister in law Mrs. Wada’s home in Abuja. Her prayers over her children and grand children were constant Mama was the strength of her family having been widowed thirty-nine years ago. She stood solid behind all her children bringing them all up on her own. Today I celebrate the woman who gave me my very supportive husband Thompson Abu. At seventy-eight Mama was still very lucid contributing her thoughts, words of wisdom and perspective to family matters and national issues. She had her own views about the political landscape as politics raged on in the months and weeks before her passing. Her prayer for a peaceful election has been answered by God. She worried about us all and was keen to know about my work and my travels.
Mama Hadiza Abu loved Nollywood movies. In her long days at home as she began to ail, she spent a lot of time following the many Nollywood stories.Who had committed a crime, who was paying for their sins, who is leaving her husband who is a wicked husband, who has been cursed? It was a subject of discourse with all her children and grandchildren and Mama was more knowledgeable than most on Nollywood matters. I will miss her interesting perspectives on Nollywood movies and her analysis of every movie she has watched and her discourse on her favourite actor/actress. As the songs rent the air at her Service of Songs, I can see her sitting in her favourite chair at my sister in law’s home, one hand clutching her walking stick, one hand outstretched to clasp my hand. This week we all travelled to pay our last respect to a woman who loved all and gave her life of charity and warmth to many sons and daughters of Nigeria who crossed her path. She never tired of cooking sumptuous meals for all and sundry.
I thank you for my husband, a good man and we thank God for the community you have built. Several grandchildren later, you are celebrated from Makurdi to Lokoja, from Abuja to Okpo, from Otukpa to Kaduna, from Mubi to Lagos. We thank God for your life and pray the good Lord grant you eternal repose Amen.
Eugenia Abu
