…Why leaders, professionals must drop myth of self-sufficiency to unlock real growth
2020 was meant to be my year. I came out of 2019 with great hopes. It was meant to be a landmark birthday, and I had finally built a sales funnel that looked ready to deliver results. Even if only half of the prospects came through, I was positioned for a bumper year of growth.
In January, I was at Los Angeles airport heading home after a work conference. News of a virus in Wuhan had just started to circulate, but it felt distant – like a tsunami you read about, tragic but far away. But something unsettled me. Every single Asian traveller wore a face mask. I knew it was part of public health etiquette in Asia, but their visible caution told me this was real, and it was spreading.
By March, the UK was in its first lockdown. Life and business ground to a halt. Promising leads disappeared, projects were shelved, contracts evaporated. It was terrifying from a health perspective, and devastating from a business one.
For me, the hardest part of 2020 was realising something I hadn’t even admitted to myself: I was scared. The work I had put into that pipeline was because I wanted – no, needed to prove that I could pivot once again. I had done well in banking, e-commerce and communications, and now, I’d started to gain ground in digital technology. 2020 looked set to be the year that I would blossom in that space: websites, mobile apps, even invitations to speak at tech events.
I was afraid to fail. Afraid of the whispered “I told you so” murmurs from those who had advised me to get a ‘safe’ job. I could almost hear them laughing at this Icarus who dared to soar and now had no choice but to crawl back to employment – at a time no one was hiring.
I wouldn’t call it depression, but yes, I was in my feelings. My safety nets were wearing out and still, I kept it to myself. I didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t navigate this storm alone. I needed to reach out. I needed help.
The Danger of Silence
Silence breeds isolation. In business and leadership, pretending to know it all leads to costly mistakes, delays, and missed opportunities. Instead of accelerating progress, we stall because we’re too proud or too scared to say, “I don’t know.”
In the African context, this pressure is magnified. In many Nigerian professional spaces, asking for help is misread as incompetence, so we train ourselves to always appear capable, even when we’re drowning, because God forbid “This madam doesn’t even know what she is doing” is the silent accusation we fear. The result is that we overextend, burn out, and cut ourselves off from the very support systems that could move us forward. Ironically, by refusing to ask, we slow down the very success we’re trying to protect!
The Turning Point
And so, I reached out. I leaned on friends who weren’t formal mentors but had experience I could draw from. I stopped sugarcoating my concerns and asked directly for what I needed: projects, connections, opportunities.
My first surprise was that no one judged me. Nobody mocked. Nobody thought my goals were far-fetched. They reminded me that no one could have predicted such a global disruption.
Then came the wisdom. They showed me how to reframe lockdown as opportunity. Who was best positioned to thrive when the world moved indoors? The digital creators. The more diverse perspectives I welcomed, the more expansive my thinking became. Ideas I wouldn’t have considered alone started to take shape.
They connected me with organisations urgently trying to digitise processes, build virtual classrooms, launch online consultancies, and design e-health platforms. Over the next two years, I worked on some of the most complex (and profitable) projects of my career. Global applications with teams of designers, developers, and QA specialists. It was, in many ways, the worst of times, but also one of the richest, most exhilarating seasons of growth I’ve ever had.
Why Asking Matters
This is the magic of asking for help: it changes everything.
It saves time. Why struggle for six hours when someone else can give you the answer in ten minutes? Asking shortens the learning curve and gets you moving faster.
It accelerates growth. Every time you ask, you gain new knowledge or a fresh perspective. Even if you don’t get the exact solution you expected, you walk away sharper.
It builds relationships. Vulnerability is magnetic. When you admit you don’t have all the answers, you invite trust and create authentic connections. Some of my strongest professional relationships began with a simple, “Can you help me?”
It strengthens leadership.
The best leaders aren’t those who know everything, but those who model humility, empower their teams, and draw out collective intelligence. A leader who asks for help creates a culture where others feel safe to do the same, and that culture breeds innovation.
The Courage to Ask
My lesson is: ask for help. Ask boldly. Yes, there may be naysayers waiting to see you fail, but for every one of them, there are dozens more willing to share wisdom, resources and strategies. Sometimes the breakthrough you’re searching for is just one brave question away.
Rachel Onamusi is the CEO of VN Sync, a UK-based tech company and full-service marketing firm with expertise in all aspects of media and a strong focus on digital strategy development and implementation. Dedicated to creating lasting impact, Ms. Onamusi is a sought-after speaker, thought leader, writer and frequent media contributor.
