Independent but never alone

…65 Years of Independence – And What It’s Teaching Me About My Own

I was not born independent. I came after four boys, so while my mother finally got her dream of pretty dresses and pink bows, my earliest memories tell a different story. On one hand, I was the apple of my father’s eye; on the other, I was constantly being shooed away from “serious” play.

“This is boys’ business! Do you see any girls here? My fren, come on, leave here!”

This exclusion from play made me very determined to show that I was just as capable – climbing the same trees, playing the same games, getting interested in the same things. I drew the line at making kites with eba, though, because what?

This stubborn streak has followed me all my life. It’s not born out of rebellion or ideology; it’s just actually never occurred to me that there were things I couldn’t do. I’ll happily stand alone, work alone, live alone, eat alone, or navigate a challenge alone if that’s what it takes to reach a goal. It may not be my preference, but it’s never hindered me either.

And it has served me well. I’ve moved countries more than once, travelled and seen something of the world, made extraordinary friends, and stepped into roles I once thought were beyond me. But the more I did on my own, the more I realised that I didn’t actually want to do it alone.

And, if I’m being honest, I never truly have. Some of the most rewarding opportunities, positions and roles in my life came through people who spoke my name in rooms I hadn’t yet entered. I have a neighbour who has saved my life more times than I can count. From jumpstarting my car to fixing leaky taps or putting up shelves.

I have fallen seven times, and people have picked me up eight.

This October, as Nigeria marked 65 years of independence, I found myself reflecting on what that word – independence – really means.

Independence isn’t isolation. It’s freedom from anything that seeks to stifle, diminish or chain you. Independence is about self-determination with connection. Growth with community. Freedom with responsibility.

We can’t truly call ourselves independent if we’re disconnected from one another. Our progress, like our country’s, depends on collaboration — on learning from those who came before us, on uplifting those coming behind, and on understanding that no one builds alone.

So maybe this Independence season, your task – and mine – is to redefine what “freedom” looks like in real life.

Maybe it’s asking for help where you’ve been trying to “handle it” all alone.

Maybe it’s mentoring someone who reminds you of your younger self.

Or maybe it’s simply taking stock of the quiet army of people, seen and unseen, who help you stand tall every day.

Because independence, in its truest form, doesn’t mean doing it all alone. It means choosing your path freely, while recognising that every step is steadied by others.

I am independent, yes, but I am covered. Covered by the love of friends, the wisdom of mentors, the generosity of sponsors, and the support of acquaintances and allies.

Independent, but never naked.

Independent, but never alone.

Rachel Onamusi is the CEO of VN Sync, a UK-based tech company and full-service marketing firm with expertise in all aspects of media and a strong focus on digital strategy development and implementation. Dedicated to creating lasting impact, Ms. Onamusi is a sought-after speaker, thought leader, writer and frequent media c