‘I killed my girl friend and covered it, now her spirit haunts me’  

The past beats inside me like a second heart and I wish I could go back in time and change some things so that I don’t have to feel haunted by a few things in my past or maybe just move to a different location and leave all these behind. But alas! This could only pass for a mere wish because I can cross out my past but I certainly cannot erase it.

My name is Charles Johnson. I’m the first in a family of four children. Born on the 10th of May 1986, I grew up with a silver spoon firmly placed in my mouth and being the only son, I was pampered beyond measure which meant I got anything I so desired.

My parents were both senior lecturers in the state where we resided which meant we lived in the staff quarters.
I got into the university almost immediately after my secondary school and it was all thanks to my dad who not only made sure I secured an admission but also ensured I was offered a course in engineering which was his dream, not mine. My dream or not, school was fun and I enjoyed every bit of it. I had girls in various sizes, shapes and complexion at my beck and call. My father was the Dean of our faculty so that earned me more friends than I had the need for.

My nightmare began in my 400level, months after I met Joan, a 300-level English Language student in the same school. Joan was decent and different from the other girls I had known. She was beautiful, brilliant and had a charming smile. It was these virtues that told me I could have her for keeps. Being the only son, my parents reminded me constantly that I needed to settle down ahead of my peers and they always concluded with all those talks of not allowing their lineage to end.

Joan was the type to take home to mama and I looked forward to the day I would do that but there was this thing about Joan that angered me so much, she was way too friendly to the opposite sex. I had warned her times without number to keep those flashes and hugs she gave other guys for me only but it turned out that was too difficult for her to do.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying she was being unfaithful but I know some guys would mistake those infectious smiles of hers to mean something else and I wasn’t going to sit and watch someone begin farming on my land before I raised alarm.

Shortly after I met Joan, I bade my numerous girlfriends goodbye but I retained the room that served as my ‘guest house’. It was a studio apartment I rented with my bosom friend, Kelvin. Since my parents never allowed me entertain my girlfriends’ not to talk of walking them up to my room, this arrangement was perfect.

Anytime I wanted alone-time with Joan, this was where we spent that time and Kelvin never interfered because I paid the bulk of the rent. All he needed to do was disappear and reappear when the time was right for him to so. I had a spare key and I would always leave a sign on the door to show that he was not needed at that moment and he would just walk away.

Tuesday 19th June, 2007 is one day I would never forget in a hurry no matter how hard I tried to. I had sighted Joan that day hugging a guy in front of one of the lecture halls, exactly what I told her not to do. Maybe she thought I wouldn’t see her since our departments were far apart but I did see her and that grieved me so much. The guy was even flirting with her and from all indications; she loved it as she kept on flashing an annoyingly sheepish smile. ‘What was all that for? And who was that guy by the way?’ I thought to myself.

In anger, I abandoned what I had come down there to do and rushed back to Kelvin’s place to cool off. I was going to summon her down here and ask her why she had chosen to humiliate me in front of those riffraff she hugs from time to time. I rang her and told her to meet me in our hideout as soon as she can. She said she was almost close to her hostel but promised she would just drop her books and hurry down. Joan was always loyal and respectful but at that moment that didn’t count.

As soon as she tapped on the door, I opened it and dragged her inside. She was surprised and she didn’t hide it one bit. ‘Babe, what’s wrong? Are you okay…,’ she began but I cut her short.

‘I should be the one asking that question. Are you okay? How many times have I told you to stop hugging those your boyfriends and caressing them in the public? Who know what you do with them when no one is watching and by the way who was that guy I saw you hugging today?’ I asked angrily.

She looked confused for a moment. Apparently trying to recollect all that transpired earlier but when it appeared she could not recall much she said, ‘Which guy are you talking about, Charles?’

I sparked, ‘Do you just ask which guy? Which means they are now too many, how many did you hug today or have you lost count?’

‘What’s all these about, Charles? You should learn to trust me else this relationship will never see the light of day,’ she said and made for the door. She was about leaving when I told her to come back but she replied, ‘You are all childish now. I’ll come back when we can have a decent conversation.’

Me? Childish? As she placed her hand on the door handle, I grabbed her hair and dragged her backwards so she would face me but she missed her step and fell on the chair writhing in pain. That was no time to pet her so I opened the door and stormed out.

Kelvin called me that evening to ask if I had seen Joan earlier in the day. That was when I remembered that I left the key at the door but Joan is no stranger, she would keep the keys. I was already resting my nerves at home and told Kelvin all that transpired between I and Joan the following day but he insisted on coming over to my place which he did.

When I saw Kelvin, he was scared to bits as if the police was after him but the next few words that came out of his mouth scared the hell out of me as well. “Joan is dead,” he said looking around to make sure no one was eavesdropping.

At that moment I did not know what to do but there was no time to argue or even think because the body would have been stiff by then. I quickly went inside the house, picked up my car keys and followed Kelvin back to our apartment. We waited until it was dark, then we tied a stone round Joan’s neck and dumped her into the river which was quite some distance from the house. Kelvin and I spent the entire night cleaning off Joan’s DNA and drinking ourselves to stupor.

The following day, I went home but I stayed indoors all day giving everyone the impression that I was quite indisposed. Joan’s friend, Stella called in the evening asking after Joan but I told her I never saw her. She said Joan told her she was coming to see me the day before and she had not seen her since then. I still stood my ground and told her we never saw.

I thought I had been able to convince Stella but I was wrong because she came to my house the next day in the company of Joan’s parents. They wanted to know what I had done to their daughter but I told them I was looking for her as well.

Some mystery occurred in the few weeks that followed. Joan’s corpse was seen floating on the river and this time her parents visited again but not without their lawyer. They said I would never get away with the murder of their precious daughter so they took me to court but, my dad fought to ensure that justice was not only delayed but denied and he won.

Nine years down the line and married to the most beautiful soul after Joan’s with two lovely children, I’m still running from pillar to post in search of a little peace for my soul but all I find is more terror. I dread closing my eyes because of the visions that haunts me. I’m afraid to confide in my wife who has been worried over the incessant nightmares.

I’m exhausted. How do I free myself from this? I need to be released from my past before I’m finally hunted down because my past is fast catching up on me.