Recently, I witnessed a profound act that captured male allyship. A man I know adjusted his expectations when his domestic staff had just lost her partner, was caring for a four-month-old baby, and had to bring the child to work. Instead of treating her circumstances as an inconvenience or a liability, he responded with practical support, making space for her reality while still affirming her dignity and value at work.
He ensured she was fully paid.
This is what equity looks like. At a time when men often ask what meaningful allyship requires of them, the answer is not always grand gestures or public declarations.
What struck me was not the act itself, but what it represented: recognising a woman’s lived experience does not make her less capable; it acknowledges that she is human. In a “man’s world” of work shaped by rigid gender norms that routinely ignore women’s realities, this is what inclusion looks like. Male allyship is the deliberate use of influence and authority to challenge norms and structures that consistently disadvantage women, and to create enabling environments where women’s expertise and potential are fully recognised and allowed to thrive.
The Role of Male Allies
Popular culture offers a useful illustration of male allyship in the movie Hidden Figures. When Katherine Johnson’s brilliance is repeatedly interrupted by institutional barriers—segregated bathrooms and exclusion from decision-making rooms—it becomes clear that her ability was never the problem. The system was.
Katherine is repeatedly late, not because she lacks discipline or commitment, but because she is forced to walk long distances to use the “coloured women” bathroom.
When her boss finally understands this, he tears down the nearest bathroom sign and declares, “Here at NASA, we all pee the same colour.” Later, Katherine is barred from high-level briefings because women, particularly Black women, are not permitted in those rooms. When the team reaches an impasse that threatens the mission, her boss overrules the norm and insists she be present because she has the solution.
Her access changes the outcome. In both moments, the boss is simply doing what allies must do: recognising and using their positions of power and influence to dismantle norms that limit women’s participation. Katherine’s success is not enabled by exceptional talent alone, but by access.
Leveraging Men’s Historical Influence
Men have historically been the default decision-makers, and modern workplaces still reflect that inheritance. As Sterling Bank’s CEO recently observed, many of the systems that govern how we work were designed at a time when women were not in the room.
This is not metaphorical; it is historical. From ancient Athens, the cradle of civilisation, where men participated in public assemblies while women were confined to the family setting, to modern organisations built around uninterrupted availability and linear career paths, work has long been structured around male lives. Now that women occupy these spaces, the structures themselves must be reshaped to reflect women’s lived realities. This is not a favour to women; it is the overdue recognition of the experiences of half the population in the design of systems that govern all of us.
What Male Allyship Looks Like in Practice
If male allyship is about using influence to reshape environments, then its impact must be felt where norms are most deeply embedded: in the home, the workplace, and the rooms where decisions are made. These are the spaces that quietly determine whether women merely participate or are able to fulfil their potential.
In the home, allyship begins with dismantling the idea that care, planning, and emotional labour are women’s default responsibilities. Men who share not only tasks but the mental load of anticipating needs, planning ahead, and absorbing disruption help redistribute time.
The impact is profound. When women are not constantly managing domestic systems, they gain time for rest, creativity, professional growth, and self-determination. This redistribution of time is not symbolic; it shapes women’s health, confidence, and long-term economic security.
In the workplace, allyship requires men to question norms that reward uninterrupted availability while penalising caregiving and flexibility. Practical actions include challenging biased meeting dynamics, sponsoring women into stretch roles and leadership pipelines, and redesigning performance expectations to value outcomes over presenteeism. When men in positions of authority normalise flexibility without stigma, women are less likely to be sidelined during life transitions such as motherhood or caregiving. The result is not lowered standards, but sustained careers, retained talent, and organisations that benefit from women’s full intellectual and leadership capacity.
In decision-making spaces, allyship is most visible and most necessary. This is where men can use their influence to insist on women’s presence in rooms where strategy is shaped and resources allocated. It means questioning whose voices are missing, whose realities are absent from policy design, and whose time is being implicitly devalued. When women are included in these spaces, decisions become more representative, more humane, and more effective. For women, access to decision-making translates into greater agency, influence over their working conditions, and the ability to shape
systems rather than merely adapt to them.
Across all three spheres, the impact of male allyship is cumulative. When environments are designed with women’s lived experiences in mind, women are better able to thrive professionally without sacrificing their private lives. Their careers become more sustainable, their personal lives less constrained by exhaustion, and their potential more fully realised. This is not about doing women a favour; it is about building systems that recognise reality and allowing half the population to contribute at full capacity.
From Awareness to Commitment
Male allyship ultimately demands a choice. A choice to notice, to question inherited norms, and to use influence deliberately rather than passively. I am calling on all men to recognise that neutrality is not neutral in systems shaped without women in mind. At Women in Successful Careers (WISCAR), we recently institutionalised a Male Allyship Award to recognise men who consistently use their positions to create more equitable and enabling environments for women. Not because allyship deserves applause, but because it deserves practice. If women are to fulfil their potential in work and in life, male allyship must move from intention to commitment.
