There is something about every new year which reminds me of the subtle sweet sour smell of lemons and a whiff of rose powder. A sedate smug feeling of contentment/gratitude that one made it into a new year, that one succeeded in “crossing over”, as they say. This is also the time when one sends felicitations to friends and family and visits across cities and towns become traditional. It’s that time to smile and be gay and put all past things in the past except for some reason they have some value add.
This is when to get the children those nice clothes they ogled after in a shop months before and watch them wear it like their lives depended on it. Bright shiny things beckon, new year’s resolutions and lump-in-your-throat gratitude for another chance to make good with the world and all those who live in it, to make good with family and friends.
Well, you are still here and alive. What an opportunity to make a change in your life and that of others for good! What an opportunity to learn that thing you always wanted to, skydiving, flying, swimming, baking, flower arrangement or cooking. Time to do the almost unattainable; all sorts of things – time to write a book, write a column, travel and allow yourself fall in love. Time to just be grateful and smile at everyone’s for the first week.
In being among those who made it, what is your sign of gratitude, especially in the face of turbulence across the world, threats of a Third World War, immigrant crisis, insurgency, wanton deaths and violence. I believe there is a reason why we are witnesses to these scary incidences at this time; there must be a reason we have escaped unscathed in 2015, when thousands of people drowned in the Atlantic crossing to a hoped-for better life and bombs went off close to where we live. There must be a reason. There has to be a reason God left you and took a friend, a cousin, your mum or your neighbour. For those reasons we must be grateful.
Here are the gratitude responses for all of us who live in a nation such as Nigeria, and we are still wondering even after being so blessed why we are still at the back of beyond.
1) To be grateful this year, show kindness to someone you do not know, have never met, will never meet again and is incapable of paying back your kindness.
2) Visit a hospital, bear tissue, oranges, bananas, water and distribute them to patients in the ward.
3) Ever noticed how all songs by musicians these days are about how “fire should burn their enemy”? Quit beefing those with talent and ask God to show you yours. Appreciate those who have.
4) Stop being a difficult person. There are many things you can let go. Sometimes you choose your battles. Those that are worth fighting for are worth fighting for, those you can ignore, simply ignore.
5) As we grow older, let us learn to speak our mind in clear polite terms. Even if the whole world says a bucket is blue and it is actually white, be the only one to say it is white. There is some form of freedom that brings. You don’t have to be catty about it. Just say it simply. Aaah…there you go…some peace of mind.
6) To be an “agbaya” in the new year is not worth it. Don’t go around in see-through clothes, a silly hat, skinny jeans (for men), and your cleavage at 62 years. It’s not sexy, it’s silly. Don’t be inappropriate for your age. It’s a brand new year. Dress your age but don’t be boring because you can be stylish without looking like a tart or as for the men like the bell boy.
7) Call your daughter, father, son with whom you are estranged and make amends. Reward yourself for being alive. Show gratitude.
8) Give until it hurts. Those clothes in your wardrobe, how many have you worn in the last two years? Give them out even if it hurts.
9) Visit an IDP Camp. Give your time, give some cash, give some food. The other day a family member was going to throw out a stack of hangers from the drycleaners no longer in use. It seemed to him that they were useless. There were hundreds of them, so I asked him to send them to the IDPs. Every little helps. Your pots that may be a little old but decent, your cartons of juice given to you at Christmas that you will never be able to finish or that you don’t drink. All these things will not go with you when it’s time. Somebody needs them, don’t be a hoarder.
10) Start a soup kitchen. Feed the poor once a week. Volunteer time, food and cash. Learn what it’s like not to have by feeding others.
11) Teach in a local school for free.
13) Learn patience. It’s a great virtue.
14) Don’t escalate a disagreement. Make peace, not war. Think of Syria and all war-torn zones. The disagreements usually start small.
15) Count your blessings. Pray for a better year.
Happy New Year!
Eugenia Abu
